Josh Boulton

My weight and appearance took up significant real-estate in my brain, so I was constantly fixated on how I looked or maybe more importantly how I thought other people saw me. Whenever I would leave the house for anything from going to the shops to meeting with friends, regardless of whether I knew anyone there I was constantly anxious. Combine that with always feeling physically tired, I lost a lot of confidence in myself. Perhaps the saddest confession is that I am a lazy guy. It is easy to sit at home watching Netflix, it’s easy to order in ubereats whenever you can’t be bothered to cook, and when you have asthma as a convenient excuse so there is "no real reason" to push yourself to go for a run.

I had also built up in my mind that changing my lifestyle was going to be so difficult that I would fail straight away, so there is the fear of failure mixed in as well. I had built up an image of the kind of person who goes to the gym in my head and I had decided, that kind of person was not me.

I learnt that change is lots of small decisions that add up to the big changes that you are looking for. I learnt that even more than lifting weights, the food you eat is so important to weight loss goals. I learnt that I love Chicken Twisties more than I thought I did. I learnt that its ok to fail because everyone does sometimes, and that each new day or new week is just another chance to start succeeding again. Something that shocked me was just how weak physically I was when I first started, but also, I learnt that I am much more capable of change than I originally gave myself credit for.

I was not expecting my mood and my confidence to change as quickly or as drastically as it did, the change was so immediate, at least compared to what  I had imagined so I was shocked when I started feeling more confident about myself. Learning that not only am I capable of enacting change over my own life, in this case over my health, but also that I am the kind of person who can change. I do not feel like I am stuck with who I am or where I am and that's directly attributed to the ability to see the change in my own body over the last months. I do not feel anywhere as anxious or stressed as I did when I first started which is like a weight off the shoulders.

While I am still stubbornly holding onto a couple of my old habits, I have been able to change a great deal of them over the last few months so being able to notice the changes has been a massive benefit. If all you do is say that you want to see change but you never act anything out in the world then nothing will happen, as evidenced by my own journey.

So, if you want to see change then the best thing you can do is bite the bullet and just give it a try! Fortunately, all the trainers are amazing, I never felt embarrassed or like I did not belong, and they were very receptive to my wants and needs. They meet you where you are at and adapt to your situation, so you’re never pressured into doing things you do not feel comfortable doing. Shout out to my amazing trainer Dan who was able to accommodate my schedule and who has been there through every step and who encouraged me every single day to do my best!